Alright Guy: Todd Snider, Mark Twain of Lightning Strike Troubadours, Dies at 59

He had a cock-eyed smile, aquamarine eyes that could turn gray or amber and silky, dirty blond hair that just kinda hung there. Lanky, the nervous energy almost didn’t register in the limbs, but it made those eyes sparkle in a way even a master jewel-cutter couldn’t make a perfect stone glitter.
If you weren’t paying attention, Todd Snider was definitely the guy you wouldn’t see coming. Even with that Modigliani shaped early face, which would become more chiseled as he grew up, he was the one you’d miss in his baggy t-shirts, oversized button front shirts and pants barely making contact with his hip bones.
That was all the better for Todd, the observationist social commentarian who took on romantic dynamics, political issues and inequities with equally potent rapier-sharp insight and detail. He didn’t care if you saw him, because he was really busy watching… everything.
And it was all fodder, trust me.

When he showed up, he was equal parts Huck Finn, old school folkie troubadour, field hippie, activist, punk ass boy and punk rocker. Think Jeff Buckley with a slicing wit, a ZFG attitude and less heart throb baggage. Snider’d banged around a bit, classic story of the kid who was too smart for the room, talking back, talking smack and saying “F this” when it just wasn’t worth the effort. 
Somehow, living just outside Austin, he absorbed all the great songwriter/singers from an era before his: Jerry Jeff Walker, John Prine, Guy Clark, the early story song era of Jimmy Buffett, Billy Joe Shaver, Kris Kristofferson. Heck, he stumbled into Jerry Jeff and his guitar, playing all of those songs at the legendary Gruene Hall, and turned into a burning bush of creative desire. With the help of Kent and Diana Finlay in San Marcos, he started learning the tides of holding a crowd, writing to lasso the listener and create a space that was his.
He rolled over to Memphis, got a gig at the Daily Planet, where journeyman writer, guitarist and session man Keith Sykes – a friend to all the legends noted above – stumbled onto Snider doing his weekly residence. Sykes witnessed to those friends, things started to happen.
After being so broke, he was more like one of Fagan’s kids in Oliver Twist, suddenly big things started popping. A label deal with a traditional label fell apart. Then Jimmy Buffett got his own label through MCA Records, the aptly titled Margaritaville, where long tall drawling femme rocker/writer Marshall Chapman recorded It’s About Time: Live from the Tennessee State Women’s Prison, Hunter S Thompson would deliver a record, as well as tasty Gulf roots bands the Iguanas and Evangeline. Perfect home for a kid who had a problem with authority.
Songs from the Daily Planet showed up as Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Stone Temple Pilots and Green Day were dominating rock alongside regenerated Aerosmith, r.e.m. and yes, Hootie & the Blowfish. Kurt Cobain would die that April, leaving Snider looking a bit like a more robust cousin to the grunge poet.
If Snider wasn’t so sure about the corporate grind – he thought the perks and peccadillos were hilarious – the poohbahs weren’t so sure about a guy who’d tell anyone, anyone he thought was jive where to jump off. Thankfully Bob Mercer, who ran the label, Al Bunetta and Dan Einstein, who had a black belt in managing the quixotic songwriter/artist with John Prine and Steve Goodman, and of course, Buffett understood the temper and temperament of a true creative spirit.
Not only did Snider capture the lightning strike of the moment – the grunge rebellion, the commodification of rebellion in music, the over-styled and -hyped post-MTV world of pop culture – he chopped it up like the voice of the coming into their own generation he represented. The opening salvo – “My Generation (Pt. 2)” – offered the martini dry humor and detail anchor that made Planet a lethal weapon towards the bloat and marketing Boomers were grabbing with gusto.
Did you know there are people who put us down/Just because we get around
My generation, part two, verse three, chapter four, Jackson Five, Nikki Sixx…

and then into a “Subterrean Homesick Blues” list that skewered hair gel, health spas, fax machines, drum machines, credit cards, condom sense, paisley ties and watching “LA Law” or “Arsenio Hall.” But even more, he cites the malls, the living off the parents, 1000 points of light and not being so bright to let you know he knows there’s complicity to his generation’s sodden rebellion.
But it’s not all three chords and a middle finger. He brought industrial strength empathy with the awareness stoking “That Was Me,” an accordion-wheezing set of polaroids of less thans overlooked that invoked the Bible’s least of our brethren lesson without taking Jesus’ name into his work. He recognized believing you know people’s truths in the minor-keyed turn-of-a-moment reality that was the finger-picked revelation “You Think You Know Somebody,” with its unsettling denoument driven by unseen generational legacy and reverberations.
Sure, there was the jocularity of being caught with Madonna’s demi-scandalous SEX coffee table book in “Alright Guy,” the strolling overpowered-by-lust “Trouble” – “a woman like you walks into a place like this, you can almost hear the promises break” – and the pointed, hummmm-driven, electric guitar-lacerated “Turn It Up,” all swagger and coiled pounce of the cuckolded working class male blowing off steam. This was a record for raging, raving and rocking out with your friends, too.
That full-spectrum self-awareness came full circle with the surprise alternative radio hit “Talkin’ Seattle Grunge Rock Blues,” a wheezy harmonica-driven folkie treatise that opens invoking Neil Young’s Rust Never Sleeps Johnny Rotten homage “Hey Hey (My My),” lamenting his rock band’s  dead end, before turning into the record business frenzy over grunge; not only do they do the full embrace, they actually refuse to play – one upping the shoe-gazing, flannel-wearing oeuvre. A bidding war, millions of dollars, girls, drugs, 5 star reviews and conquering MTV, then the Grammys refusing to play a note, it’s a marketing gold rush that pops when the next new thing explodes.
Hilarious, brutal, the commentary flew by many, who thought it was a major rave. Snider didn’t care. Take what you want and leave the rest. But to truly understand, listen to that final four lines, that culminate with packing up the van, shaving off the goatee and announcing, “We’re going back to Athens,” Georgia, no doubt.
That’s the deal. Listen, really listen and the gems keep erupting. Wanna know what he’s really thinking? It’s all there. All the unspeakable slights, the hand shakes that were really bites, the notion that with a big grin and a little forward lean, you’ll think it’s glory, not invective covered in laughter.
Those are the facts, and they hold up, the scenes of how Todd Snider popped – fully formed – into the universe. 
But that’s the fun and joy that spilled over all kinds of places. Or the “He did what?” consternation that the grown-ups felt. One day, he just walked away from Jimmy Buffett’s tour, clearly over the whole industrial entertainment conveyor belt, and that was that. Or the time he did the MCA corporate event, spoke his mind and got his walking papers the next day.
Were there drugs involved? Probably. Crazy women? Absolutely. Lots of all kinds of late night, break it down conversation about injustice, inequity, lame ass garbage? Count on it. Bob Mercer would always work it out. Buffett and Prine cheered his “can’t be tamed” spirit. Bunetta, the manager, was a larger than life type, too; sometimes he’d be the voice of reason, alongside his partner Einstein, but other times, he’d laugh ‘cause he knew the legend was good for business.

It was also good for his creativity. By not folding the corners down, breaking his spirit or neutralizing the voice, Todd Snider emerged as the folkie-songwriter who could rock. Not quite a new Bob Dylan, he had too much brio for that, but certainly with his vulnerable kindness offered a precursor to Jeff Buckley, another street poet who’d straddle genres and marketing labels.
And that was what made Todd so exciting. If the record sales lagged a little, his touring life was robust. Sometimes with Will Kimbrough in his band. Sometimes Eddy Shaver. But when Todd was electric, it was incendiary – and so alive, it was the best way to get your truth delivered.
Todd, too, wasn’t afraid of the world. He’d show up in all kinds of places, cock-eyed grin grinning, or troubled about something going on; he’d walk up to you at Bongo Java and say, “Wanna talk?” and it would be the most whirlwind, breathtaking conversation you’d have all day. Sure, his concerns were real, but he probably already had the answer and was just checking the math – or he’d tell a story on himself, laughing until it was contagious. 
You couldn’t call him guileless. He was too smart for that. But self-effacing, with a champion in local roots queen Lynsey McDonald and her eventual beau/husband/co-parent/ex and at the time activator at Margaritaville Sam Knight. They were like forward motion with a champagne fountain; new ideas, novel concepts and “how do we lift this artist and label up?”
Hard work and the agony of defeat was rarely so ebullient.

When MCA dried up, Prine’s Oh Boy stepped in. They were big on ferocious writers who loved to lick their finger and put it in the electrical socket. Happy To Be Here saw a sleeker Snider through a glaring yellow filter at a tiger-striped banquette; but the cultural pops, commentary and reality capturing remained strong. “Missing You” was as yearning and lovely as anything releases that year, while “The Ballad of DB Cooper” air punched the spirit of reckless adventure and tall tales with a vengeance. 
Beyond his own social commentary with “Keep Off The Grass,” he dropped the taut miscegenation reckon “Betty Was Black (Willie Was White),” written by Kimbrough, Michael Grimes, Tommy Meyer and Tommy Womack, originally recorded for their album as the Bis*Quits. Sobering without preaching, percussive without numbing the brain, it was the embodiment of Snider’s gift.
Looking over a light board at the images for Happy, Snider emerged as a man who knew his gift was special; not quite settled into embracing his talent, but accepting there was a reason to be here, the slides were compelling in an iconic way. Not vanity, but look: this is the real.
The momentum didn’t come back, but Excitement Plan offered record biz commentary (“Vinyl Records”), jocularity (the much discussed did-they-steal-his-song “Beer Run”), reality ascending for the kids now 15 years into adulthood (“Class of 1985”) and always his romantic yearning. So many songs were tempered with the desire for love, the jagged shores it washes up on or destroys what you thought. 
Even if the “Alright Guy” radio hit was never to return, this was the proof Snider was going to settle into the same kind of record/tour/citizen of creativity realm of his heroes. Lots of kids make a few “songwriter” records, but they can’t maintain the intellectual hoist; Snider was still delivering, still true to what he believed, saw, captured.

Only Snider – being a generational talent – was about to crystalize a massive shift in Music City. While Steve Earle, Dwight Yoakam, Lyle Lovett, kd lang and Nanci Griffith represented a progressive turn in country, that would come to sweep up Kelly Willis, Joe Ely, the Mavericks and Iris DeMent, Snider dropped East Nashville Skyline. More than a play on Dylan’s seminal project, it planted a flag for the growing progressive music scene on the other side of the Cumberland River.
East Nashville Skyline was the culmination of all the touchstones that made Snider exceptional. Mike Tyson is celebrated in the almost sweet “Iron Mike’s Main Man’s Last Request,” while garage rock was given its kudos on “The Ballad of the Kingsmen.” Yes, commentary on the life (“Alcohol and Pills,” the poseurtastic call out “Play A Train Song” and the Jerry Lee Lewis-style boogie “Nashville”). Yes, embracing the simple truth in the pitfalls (“Sunshine”). But the Roman candle of the bunch is one of his most on-the-nose social takedowns, everything Nashville was already battling, but very few people saw (the sing-along lope of “Conservative, Christian, Right Wing Republican, Straight, White American Males”).
If a manual for us-and-them was ever written, this dozen songs more than delivered. Beyond a freak flag to fly, here was an album you could turn up. Here was a record that told people right where you stood. It created an unspoken signal, one that most of the “music biz” types didn’t really get, but also never really bothered to explore.
On a slow Thursday or lonely Saturday night, though, you’d find people at the Tower Records Listening Stations nodding their head in time. You could feel it from across the bins that held all the albums – or was it CDs? – that gusto of being alive even in the boredom or loneliness.

Of course, Todd lived these songs in a lot of ways. Rehabs, and more rehabs. Falling in love while falling out of addiction. Figuring out how to beat the system. Falling back into bad habits. Wives, loves, friends, music, music, always music. And collecting peers from the very best music people there were; because Snider was so versed in all the genres, he could hang with the Black Crowes’ Chris Robinson as easy as roll around Texas with Robert Earl Keen or Jack Ingram.
Heck, the lovely Pamela Des Barres, known to the world as Miss Pamela from Frank Zappa’s notorious GTOs and author of I’m With The Band, was hired to write a bio for one of the MCA Records. She remained a staunch friend until the end. When Robert Plant flips his wig seeing you, when you were with Jagger in the room weighing the Altamont aftermath, you are a woman who understands the complexity of the rock & roll life, and quest to write truer, realer songs.
That peerage would let him lead a jam/alt supergroup called The Hard-Working Americans with Widespread Panic’s Dave Schools, Great American Taxi’s Chad Staehly, solo artist/songwriter/guitaristNeal Casal, Duane Trucks (Derek’s brother) and secret weapon multi-instrumentalist. If they came together for a Boulder benefit for Colorado Flood Relief, loved the vibe and kept touring, they ultimately landed at Bob Weir’s studio for an album of covers. It’s what musicos do.
Only that spark captured Snider’s – and everyone else’s – imagination. Reconvening, they wrote an album’s worth of material, including the raving anthem “Dope Is Dope” and a sobering cover of Guy Clark’s “The High Price of Inspiration.” This wasn’t a masterplan, a cash grab, a marketing move; it was communion over what happens when they got together – with or without a little peyote, acid or smoke thrown in for the imbibers.
That rock thing – Todd thin as a greyhound, built for speed and the heart to go the distance – was an explosion of wow. Watching audiences churn and roil before them, it was a time dissolve that perhaps harkened back to the Filmore and Filmore East, Joplin, Willie Nelson’s Dripping Springs Reunions. It was a superorganism of groove, feeling the moment.
Sitting on the bus after the show, completely wrung out, that banged up fedora with the artificial flower, Snider nodded. Talked about the insanity of what rock gives you, the freedom to jump off buildings and know you’ll fly on the energy coming back; he spoke of the eternal tug between conventional people and those willing to embrace the untamed piece inside; the joy that can be had when you stop and just feel the moments rushing past you.
When the American’s myriad schedules proved too impossible to converge, the East Side Bulldogs were born. With an even more complicated set of calendars, Elizabeth Cook, Bobby Bare, Jr, Tim Carroll, Jen Gunderman and more found themselves rocking for the sake of just blowing the carbsons out. A ferocious garage band of high school intensity with worldclass musicianship. Their rallying cry of “Chicks and cars and partying hard…,” which made the swerving taunt of “Hey Pretty Boy” so much joyous middle finger and who needs you?, was a siren’s call to anyone every judged by the golden, chosen kids. Suddenly, the ne’er-do-wells were everything – and kids who ruled the school went from hero to zero.
That musical dexterity made whatever Snider played seem somehow right on time.
Whether it was the more acoustic Cash Cabin Sessions, Vol. 3 with the “Talking Reality Television Blues,” the old style “Cowboy Jack Clement Waltz,” or the funky, side-of-the-mouth-delivery “A Timeless Response to Current Events,” the loose full band Agnostic Hymns & Stoner Fables with the working man duped by big business “New York Banker,” a rambling take on Buffett’s “West Nashville Grand Ballroom Gown,” the atonal Crazy Horse-suggesting “All Too Soon,” or the power pop of “Brenda” or the Jerry Jeff Walker homage Time As We Know It, featuring “Railroad Lady,” “Pissin’ in the Wind,” “Mr. Bojangles” and guests Amy LaVere, Kix Brooks and Elizabeth Cook, there was a freedom to the music that wrapped around you. Yes, you had to get and dig the street folkie/prophet reality, but all the different flavors Snider could pull out of that spectrum were intoxicating.

Over the years, the funky, jazzman fedora-ed writer would have deals, not have deals, not really care. He didn’t do it for the product, he did it because he lived for the songs, the people who lived in them and the places they’d go. Oh, and the chicks were good. 
Todd loved women, which is why women loved Todd. His friendship with Elizabeth Cook is the stuff of legend; were-they-or-weren’t-they people wondered, so close was their bond, what man and woman could share that kind of kinetic intimacy without the hokey pokey?
Ye of little faith. It was the connection that mattered. Des Barres would stay with him when she was in Nashville doing writing seminars; photographer/film-maker/activist Stacie Huckeba has documented Snider’s career for decades, catching unguarded moments, formal portraits and everything in-between. The late Lynsey McDonald his best friend and ally, no matter what other career role or commitment she was forging – because Lynsey made people matter.
Even me. Between all the early morning back’n’forth emails to TMellyMoo@aol.com about whatever was going on, songs we liked, gossip no one else might care about, it was always a rush and a few smile- or thought-inducing volleys. Just because. Or going out to that low to the ground house on the lake with the incredible view of day’s end, trying to remember to take the time to go visit and watch the day die, not saying much, just taking it in.
Todd got it: taking in the moment, just being there, breathing it in, exhaling what didn’t work. Everything else aside, that was all that mattered. Make the space, take the slow roll to Hendersonville, just be… Just be… just… be.
On my better days, I trusted all that. When he and his good friend Richard Lewis decided to split the bill at LA’s seen-it-all Roxy, it was suggested I go. After all, two brilliant minds, both intent on skewering without bitching, what an incredible merging of comedy and song. 
If on paper, it didn’t make sense, who's to say? The neurotic and the ultimate shake it off guy coming together, one with raps and the other with a guitar? What could go wrong? How could the very different audiences pick up what the other guy was serving up?
Funny thing about funny: it transcends. “Beer Run,” “Play A Train Song,” “Can’t Complain,” “Conservative Christian…” and “Alright Guy” hit the intellectual Lewis’ fans right in the middle of their furrowed brows. And Snider’s fans, well, they get the jokes.
When the room emptied, the lights came on and just a few stragglers remained, the storied Los Angeles venue looked like a desolation pitstop for people chasing dreams. Somewhere on the stairway, Snider’s voice was singing, that slightly nasal tone bouncing around for nothing other than probably entertaining his friends. 
To be so alive, to share so freely. Since COVID, the loss of McDonald and Peter Cooper, the baseball fanatic-music critic/Country Music Hall of Fame writer/editor-erstwhile bandmate and the ravages of tornadoes on his home, he’d endured health issues that he chose to keep quiet. He’d made a commitment to do livestreams from Big Purple in East Nashville’s 5 Points, which in Taylor Swift-fashion became reinventions of his albums, that created a community out of the isolated times. Seeing his songs grown up was, indeed, a revelation.
Then came the weathered voice High, Lonesome and Then Some earlier this year. The recordings had a blues-lean, the occasional piano rumination; very handmade, very porous-sounding, it felt like a late night, lost hours confession. The ruminations on love, how it falls apart, how we want it offer a window to the conflicts we all struggle with.
It appeared if he wasn’t robustly chasing the fame, he was back in the game. Some tour dates were announced, and then… well… Salt Lake City happened. All the allegedly, the scrambling for answers, the no-doubt-rump-covering now falling into place. 
What we do know is once Todd got back to Nashville, he really was sick. Walking pneumonia, which is a pernicious beast that makes you think you’re being lazy, that it’s all in your head. But also sepsis that was pretty far along. 
Whatever else happened – an attack, being turned out of the hospital – this man was clearly ill.
And now, this man is gone. Fifty-nine years old isn’t old at all. Sure, he’d lived all nine lives, most likely; done all the drugs, had the big adventures, howled at the fullest moons, but surely it wasn’t time to die.
I got the text yesterday after from a musician friend at a session. “Can you give me a quick call?”
Texts like that, you respond to. He picked up, asked if I was somewhere safe, then told me the news. Time stops, even if you keep moving. You walk forward, ask for the table, sit down and try to make sense out of how someone so vexingly incandescent could be gone.
Then you cry. Then you think, “Who else might not know?,” knowing the news was being kept close – but also you don’t want someone you love crashing into an online headline or ham-fisted obit written with facts that miss the heart. Then you cry some more.

Funny thing about Todd, he lived his life like it wasn’t some precious thing to keep on a shelf. He was out there, living it, chasing it, wadding it up and shooting it at some unseen basket beyond the horizon. It wasn’t that he didn’t care, it was more he wanted to taste everything there was, and wasn’t afraid to go hammer it.
And now, well, he’s gone. Those last tour dates already cancelled, perhaps a harbinger of a superhuman life lived beyond limits maybe a little too far from the shore. The scuttlebutt is he shouldn’t have passed away. The reality is: he’s gone.
For those of us left behind, it’s a reminder to get out there and live. Just do it, as Nike says. Listening to all the songs, thinking about all the conversations, the music listened to, the stories written for so many publications over the years, the thing that keeps coming back is that cock-eyed grin, so pleased with whatever. 
Sure, he had demons. Don’t we all. But he also knew how to take a big bite out of life.
High, Lonesome and Then Some opens with “The Temptation To Exist,” a pretty straightforward admonition that seems like the perfect parting gift to us all. The chorus alone, so lean, so direct, serves as a directive for those of us who can never quite get the work done or the day finished.
You’ve got to live a little
Might be all we got
You’ve got to live a little
People die a lot
They do, look it up…

www.hollygleason.com

MOMENTS OF FOREVER: Kris Kristofferson's Love for ALL Defines His Llife

Willie and Kris were playing the Miami Marine Stadium, basically covered bleachers on a small inlet that ran along Key Biscayne. It was a scrubby situation, designed for South Florida rednecks to watch speed boats race and take jumps, just metal bleachers with an overhang to keep their hangovers from baking them out of their mortal coil in the scorching Saturday high noon sun.

The stage set on pontoons. The backstage was a couple of low rent yachts.

When the call from the promoter came – “Would you like to interview Kris Kristofferson?” – I couldn’t say “Yes” fast enough. He seemed surprised. Kristofferson had become an actor and an activist, far more than a songwriter or rock star. I was the cred freelancer covering country, black and rock of a certain stripe.

How do you tell a middle-aged white guy you and one of your friends once cut out of school one afternoon, took two Rapid Transit trains to Van Aken Center to watch the afternoon showing of “A Star Is Born”? Explaining that his swagger, shirtless or in a poet’s blouse was dangerous, bravado forward, but poetically elegant would be moot. He was a pirate, a rock star, a gypsy and a man who took great risks, reached deeper into the human condition and offered up the pivot points of pain, dignity and courage without furrowing his brow.

Heck, my father started telling me about Kris Kristofferson when I was a kid, propped between my parents watching “The Johnny Cash Show.” Landed a helicopter on Cash’s lawn to give him a tape. Janis Joplin’s last hit – the one after she died – was a Kristofferson song. He understood addicts, alcoholics and washed out losers in a way that meant they weren’t actually born to lose.

Oh, and he’d gone to Oxford.

Yeah, I wanted to interview Kristofferson, whose music career was sagging, but whose mark on American songwriting was already indelible. Rushing to the morgue to pull the clip file, I blessed the Miami Herald’s Fred Burger, who’d covered so many of the Outlaws and other progressive country acts with a matching eloquence. He not only had several pieces, he’d seen to it that the artists he thought were important had clips from other sources in there as well.

Reading, reading, reading. Boxing, the Air Force, a Rhodes scholarship, William Blake, a teaching appointment, flying out to oil rigs in the Gulf of Mexico for extra money, parents hated the idea he would give up his legacy to write songs. Janitor at CBS Studios, where Bob Dylan was recording; dreamer who kept handing out demos, making friends with Willie, Cash, Waylon, Roger Miller, all the other travelers seeking to make a more elevated, sophisticated kind of lyricism with an even simpler melodic zone.

When the call came through, I was ready.

Scrawling my own kind of shorthand, the voice was ruddy, rich, warm, like a savory biscuit slathered in  something delicious, something like apple butter. He was laughing a bit, telling his stories, thinking about some of my questions, really honoring my curiosity. And that’s when I shot my shot.

“So what was it like, studying with William Blake?”
“Excuse me,” he said, tone twisting around itself a bit.

“William Blake, you studied with him…” pause, then adding helpfully, “at Oxford.”
“I’m sorry…” the voice on the other end was puzzled, then a giant laugh rolled down the phone.

“No, no, you studied with William Blake,” I protested. “It’s in the morgue.”
“Honey,” he said, tamping down his chuckle, “William Blake is DEAD.”
“I, uh, uhm,” the mortification was immediate. “Can you give me one second?”

“Sure, honey,” he graciously responded. “Take your time.”

Head down on the classical writer James Roos’ desk, I silent screamed like I was auditioning for a slasher film. And then I did it again, and again, and a fourth time. Exhaling, knowing I needed to pull it together because my 20 or 30 minutes was evaporating, I closed my eyes and reminded myself I might be 19, but I am a professional.

“I am so sorry,” I began picking up the phone. Kristofferson kept laughing. “I am so embarrassed. I was reading all the clips, and I swear, it was there… I didn’t just make it up.”
“Holly,” he said, cutting me off at the pass, “can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.” At this point, he could end the interview. It would’ve been deserved.

“When was the last time – do you think – someone asked me about William Blake?”
I was silent. I had no idea. I didn’t want to make it worse.

“You there?”

“Yes, I’m here.”
The voice was kind, not chiding. He obviously recognized how stupid I felt. It appeared he felt for me: a young writer at a good paper who made a gaffe of Olympic measure. “Holly, I’ll make this simple: no one ever asks me about William Blake. I’m not sure most of the journalists I speak with even realize I know classic English poetry.

“The fact you did? You get all kinds of points for that.”

We talked for another 30 minutes; far longer than was booked, so he could answer all my questions. The story was good enough, it made the cover of the Weekend section, I believe left well and above the fold; though it might’ve been the entire bottom third all the way across.

Before he hung up, he asked another question. “You coming to the show?,” which I was.

“Okay, then do me a favor. I’m going to leave you a couple passes. I want you to come back and say, ‘hi.’ Can you do that?”

“Uh, sure,” I said, knowing full well rock stars never remember. They don’t. Ever.

Until I got to the box office. Not only were the seats the first row that rose up so you could see over the four or five rows on the flat, but there were the two backstage passes. My second fiancee, twice my age and never one to come to shows, looked at me with a cockeyed grin.

“Well, Gleason, look at that. Passes! You must’ve made an impression.”
I’d not told Jason about making an ass of myself, played it off as the promoter being grateful. My fiancée, who loved Willie and Kris, said, “Well, you need to go back there, say ‘hello.’ I think it’s important. Those are really serious artists…”
“Are you going to come?” That might’ve been even more embarrassing.

“No, I’m not going to come. Some things in this world, you need to do on your own. You need to walk back there and be Holly Gleason, the writer from the Miami Herald.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll think about it.”
I was definitely not going back there. Sitting quietly, wondering when the show – a good 15, 20 yards away from us – was going to start. John Valentino, the dark, lion-haired promoter rep, was suddenly squatting down by my seat. He was smiling. “Hey, somebody backstage wants to meet you. I’m supposed to bring you back to say ‘Hi.’”

“Gosh, it’s awful close to showtime.”
“Yeah, I don’t think the show’s starting ‘til you get back there.”
Slowly I rose, grabbed my purse and fell in behind the nicest man in South Florida concert promotion, who told me how much he loved my story. He remarked that everyone attached to the show really loved it, so he was glad they sent him out to get me.

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, clearly out of sorts. Pontoons on a choppy bay are no fun to walk on. Holding the ropes, feeling like my knees were buckling, I would lurch forward, hoping I didn’t fall straight into JV. When we finally climbed up on the stage, he took my hand, guided me around to the back and waved towards a gang plank down onto a boat. “Go ahead.”
Standing right where you’d step off, in a black tshirt and jeans, sinewy, slightly salt in his pepper and oozing charisma, Kris Kristofferson went, “Well, you must be Holly! And you look even younger than you sound.”

“I’m 19,” I said, used to people assuming a Herald writer must be in their 30s. “Hello…”
I put my hand out, he pulled into a hug. A big, friendly, warm and loving favorite uncle hug.

“That’s more like it,” he said. “And I wanna look you in the eye, and tell you that’s one damned fine piece of writing. I can’t believe you got all that from the scraps of conversation we had.”
He was smart: get me talking about the art of writing. Suddenly, we were writers, not a kid and an icon-in-the-making.  By leveling up, he made the awkward disappear.

“Are you kidding? Those answers were great. Your story’s amazing. And I got to write about all your songs, the way you use words. How could it not be great?” I asked.

“You’d be surprised,” he said a little too knowingly. I was young enough to not realize how cynical and crummy journalists could be once the white-hot moment had passed.
“I guess, but I still think if the songs are good, the conversation is excellent, the writing should lift itself.”
“You might think, but I promise: it doesn’t. You write like this at 19, I don’t know what you’re majoring in, but you should think about being a writer. You can write, and I know that’s not even what you’re studying.”
Holy crap! He remembered. He remembered me telling him my Dad wouldn’t let me study journalism or English, because I was a published writer from the time I was 14. Whoa.

The tour manager stuck his head over the side. “You ready?”
“I guess so,” he said. Then he looked at me. “Wanna watch from the side?”

“Hell yes,” I thought, but wanted to act cool. I said, “That would be nice.”
It was an open stage. I figured my boyfriend would see me. If he got mad and left, I’d figure out how to get home. Right now, I was going to stand a few feet away from Kris Kristofferson, so lean and cool, and watch him sing “Help Me Make It Through The Night,” “Sunday Morning Coming Down,” “The Silver Tongued Devil and I,” even “Jesus Was A Capricorn.”

Tasting the salt in the air, a tropical breeze blew across the stage and pushed his shaggy hair off his face. He really was beautiful, even more beautiful than in the movies. But his passion when he sang those songs, the vulnerability and willingness to show the broken places was mind-blowing. And talking about going to church with a lady named Connie Smith, walking to the altar and falling to his knees inspiring “Why Me, Lord?,” it opened a portal into blessings where it's all falling apart.

He and the band tromped offstage. They swept me up with them, then Kristofferson cut me from the pack. “C’mon,” he said, and walked me over to the other boat.

“Willie, this is the writer I was telling you about.”
Nelson was sitting with the writer from the Fort Lauderdale Sun Sentinel. He smiled and nodded. “Come sit,” he said. “Visit for a few minutes.”
Kristofferson bounced off the boat, probably to towel off from the swelter. Willie Nelson, his braids shorn into a flat top, looked exactly like my grandfather who’d just died. I was dumb struck, literally unable to speak.
“That was a fine piece you wrote,” he said. “Kris said he thought you were young. I don’t think anyone thought you were…”
“This young?” I managed. “Weird, ‘cause we talked about school.”
“Sometimes the details don’t register.”
“I get that.”
“It’s really about the work.”
“I get that, too.” Never have I struggled so hard to stay in a conversation.

When the promoter came to take us away, he was buoyant. “I am so proud of you,” JV said. “I am so proud you wrote a piece that made them want to meet you.”
“Yeah, wow,” was all I could say.
My boyfriend was so impressed. He actually told me, “If Willie would’ve let you stand on the side of the stage, you should’ve…”
“No, they definitely showed me out.”
Clang! Clang! Clang! “Whiskey River” kicked into gear, bottles – and a few drunks – started raining into the water between seats and stage. It was raucous. Lots of bikers, as well as kickers and redbecks. They came to dance, throw down and get lit.

By the time Kristofferson returned to the stage for a bawdy “How Do You Feel About Fooling Around” and “Circle Be Unbroken,” the place was unraveling. This was the power of unadorned music thrown to the crowd like gold coins and roses; people scrambled to grab what they could of the moment, to pull those emotions towards them.

Imagining this must’ve been what the Allmans were like in their prime, I held the back of the seat in front of me, a little dizzy. One man had a hand in getting President Carter elected, the other made landmark films like “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore.” Both of them had talked to me; I would be in a daze for days.

 

“Here Comes That Rainbow Again,” to drop one song in among all the others, speaks so much to the way those men saw the world. Set in a café, dust bowl nowhere kind of town, a waitress took mercy on two hungry-eyed kids, telling them the candy they coveted was two-for-a-penny; it was exactly the money the children had.

A truck driver asks the waitress about why she did it. She asks, “What’s it to you?” believing in kindness over the straight bottom line. To her surprise, when the two truckers leave, there’s a small windfall at the table. Chastened by her kindness, they raised her ante and left a tip to say that kindness is the way.
An O. Henry short story over a classic folkie kind of melody, Kristofferson suggested what doesn’t kill you is worth indulging if it gives someone a little magic or breaks their melancholy. In the brightness and innocence that washed away the cynicism and world weary, the Songwriters Hall of Famer who received their Johnny Mercer Prize transformed anyone who listened.

 

When The Highwaymen, produced by Chips Moman, turned Waylon, Willie, Kris and Cash into the first true supergroup, the buzz was deafening. Tower Records’ PULSE assigned a cover story to me; all I had to do was juggle classes, superstar availabilities and not choke. At the time, this was the Mount Rushmore of the genre, and I understood even more now than when I’d done the Marine Stadium preview three semesters before.

First thing out of Kristofferson’s mouth, even before “Hello,” was “I just want to alert you: William Blake is still dead!” He laughed. I laughed, It was a riff on a “Saturday Night Live” bit, but it was also a small private joke, shared between the star and the humble scribe.

From being a total dodo to having a private joke? That was what made Kristofferson so lovely. He wanted to take the beat-up kid, find a way to usher her into the club. He wanted to connect some of the dots on the songs; they had Woody Guthrie and Cindy Walker, Ed Bruce’s “The Last Cowboy Song,” Guy Clark and Jimmy Webb, Bob Seger, two Johnny Cash classics, a Steve Goodman/John Prine co-write. We talked songwriters like people swap baseball cards; he spoke of what was inside the ten selections that made the album
It was strength without bullying, manly, not machismo. There were themes of social conscience, of passing time and tough places. These weren’t party songs, but things to make you think about the state of the world, how people treat other, who we throw away. It was smart and sobering as a work, and rich in terms of what we talked about.

He thanked me when he hung up, told me it was always a pleasure. I thought, that’s because you’re so good to talk to. Anyone not enjoying talking to you? They’re not doing it right.

Of course, Kristofferson was getting ready to get back into the water as an artist. He had a film with Nelson called “Songwriter,” a madcap sticking it to the Boss Hog music industry guy that looked like fun to make – and gave you a sense of how Nashville was when the creatives really were their own class of people. Independent, figuring out how to work between the lines, ready to hit the road, willing to go to any length for a practical joke and looking for a hit without selling out.

But Repossessed, a decidedly political album of social reckoning, was coming. It pulled no punches, threw down and drew lines. “Mean Old Man” and “Anthem ‘84” set the tone for a cruel, consumed by consumerism world and “They Killed Him” called out a culture that killed its visionary leaders, slaying them to never have to consider the truths Ghandi, Martin Luther King and the Kennedys put forward.

It was bold, and it struck a nerve if you listened. Most people chose to tune the radicalism out, marginalize the movie star who’d not had a hit album in a long time. When the phone rang at my desk at the Palm Beach Post, Kristofferson asked me what I thought. I told him I had hippie babysitters, this stuff is critical – if we can’t come together in peace, we would perish in the divisiveness.

With a band that had Billy Swan and Donnie Fritts, there was plenty of funky grit to go around. An outdoor show, it was a motley audience who showed up. Women swooning, because he was so fine. Vets and bikers who respected his courage for speaking up. Some country music fans who believed in the catalogue of many of their favorite artists. Native Americans who honored the way Kristofferson spoke to and for their heritage.

A melange of humanity, coming together in the songs. We didn’t speak that day. No backstage passes, though I was sure he saw me in the crowd, winked and nodded. That was plenty. Why crowd a legend when you can interview them for the paper?

By 1990, the politics had sharpened. Songs like “Jesse Jackson,” “Third World Warrior” and “Sandinista” left little to the imagination. He didn’t care; wasn’t going to pull his punches. He’d rather make music he believed in, cut live in the studio with his guys, that spoke the truth no one wanted to discuss. He wasn’t desperate, but was raging against a machine that wanted to use pop culture to distract America from what really mattered.

Like Jackson Browne, he spent his time talking to thinkers, leaders, the people on the front lines. He used his platforms – he was still an in-demand actor – to spread what he knew, and he knew plenty. He put his career and his life into the causes he believed in. And he just kept coming.

Somewhere in all of that, he fell in love with an ashy blond who was as fresh-faced and smart as they came. He and Lisa built a life, a family, kids who went in varied directions, saw the world and raised people’s consciousness. Mostly, they were love in action – and they served as an example of what can be if you truly commit and support another human being.

Just the way he looked at Lisa and smiled, you understood why he was the thinking woman’s heart-throb. That is how every woman deserves to be seen, but also respected.

He may’ve been an international superstar, touring the world with the Highwaymen or making any number of films. But mostly, he was a family man and the lover of Lisa. That was his joy, his grounding. In Hawaii, where they moved, all the local children adored him, too, called him Papa Kris – and followed him around, laughing and loving him as their own.

He stood up for the underdog, the little guy, the bullied and the overlooked. When Sinead O’Connor appeared at the all-star Bob Dylan Tribute Concert, held at Madison Square Garden, the air was charged. She had recently torn up a picture of the Pope on “Saturday Night Live,” igniting death threats, boycotts and being denounced by every Catholic organization in the world.

Brave, she took the stage, eyes piercing and seeking. She had come to sing for arguably the greatest songwriter who’d ever lived. Before she could get the first note out, an avalanche of boos hit that stage like a mountain collapse. Unable to withstand the velocity, the Irish songwriter/vocalist collapsed into a cloud of tears — and Kris ran from the wings to shepherd her off, cloaked in his arms.

As soon as he reached the shuddering musician, she proceeded to vomit. The vitrol she’d absorbed had to go somewhere. Kristofferson held her for a moment, assuring her the artists were with her; offering strength and comfort in a dark place, a pummeling moment.

If he didn’t suffer fools, he was generous with his praise. When an Oxford American think piece for his meditation on aging Feeling Mortal crossed the family’s horizon, he marveled that “Holly wrote that?,” no doubt picturing the kid from decades prior. When he saw me, he laughed and told me I’d clearly grown up.

And when “Better As A Memory,” a two-week No. 1, received it’s BMI Award for Most Played Songs of 2008, it was chaos as I teetered up to the stage in my 5” stiletto ballet slippers.

“Can you walk in those things?” BMI Nashville head Jody Williams inquired. “If you can, close your eyes and open them when I say…”
Like a good dancer, his hand slipped to the small of my back. Turning me 80 degrees, I heard now, and opened my eye lids to see Kris with his fingers in his mouth leading a standing ovation with Don Was. Surreal doesn’t begin to cover it, but my feet hurt, my heart was in my throat and tears were in my eyes.

“Can you believe it?” Jody asked. I shook my head no, because, well, it was hard to take in.

Pictures taken, someone escorted me off the stage. Before I could make my way across the room to say “thank you,” they were gone. The CMA Awards were the next day, so most likely they had an early call for rehearsal, or meeting because they were actually in town.

Walking out of our own rehearsal, I was talking to Clint Higham, Kenny Chesney’s longtime manager, about how the runthrough had gone. Coming in and cutting against the grain of rushing talent support teams, Kris was making his way towards us.

“I was so proud of you last night,” he said, taking my hands and looking into my eyes. “That is a damned fine song, Holly. A damned fine song, and you wrote it.”
I just looked at him. Cry? Laugh? Whoop? Busting a smile that was as wide as my face, I said “Thank you, and thank you. When I saw you and Don, I almost lost it.”
“We almost lost it, too,” he said. “Lisa had to tell me it was you…”
“Because you’ve never seen me in a dress.”
“Yes,” he admitted, laughing.

“Well, now you have.”
The talent wrangler came and got him, but we hugged. He told me I’d done good as he walked away, and I felt a little bit taller. If people had scoffed about me writing a song, they forgot I did it under another name so the song could have a life… and it did. If people acted like anyone could do it, like it was my proximity to Kenny that got the song cut, I didn’t care in that moment. Kris Kristofferson told me I’d written a damned fine song.

And when Kenny Chesney went on to co-produce Willie Nelson’s A Moment of Forever with Buddy Cannon, that Kristofferson title track wrecked me. A quiet performance, contemplative, yearning and yet thrilled with what has been shared, Kristofferson’s song was about the hope and wonder that even a transitory connection can yield. It’s not what was lost, it was what was felt.

Listening to Nelson in the studio, a witness to so much living, loss and adventure, the song felt like the wisdom of time. It also felt like a leavening exhale in a realm of shrinking connections, devastation and people lost not to fights or other lovers, but leaving this world.

When Kris began to fade several years ago, a bad diagnosis that Lisa refused to accept, they both hung in, seeking answers that would refute the diagnosis. One came, Lyme disease, and health returned, though the fragility of aging crept up in small degrees.

Still, there was Kris out playing with Merle Haggard’s kids, showing up at Farm Aid, being honored on the Outlaw Country Cruise. There was a tribute album. There was picking up Jerry Lee Lewis’ Country Music Hall of Fame medallion and delivering it to the Killer in Memphis.

Always something, always love.

Always love.

 

The last time I saw Kris, it was from eighteen rows back at the Hollywood. Rosanne Cash, beaming, walked across the stage as her rich, coppery alto followed the gorgeous imagery upwards. “Loving Her Was Easier (Than Anything I’ll Ever Do Again)” may be Kristofferson’s most gorgeous song, and Cash grew up knowing poet laureate of the Outlaw movement long before she was herself a formidable songwriter and artist in her own right.

As the first verse  concluded, she reached her arm to the wings – and Kristofferson, eyes the purest blue of early morning, walked towards her in a parsons coat. Hair white, but flowing over his collar, he beamed right back at her, clearly knowing this was a moment to transcend all of our mortal realities. Rosanne continued to sing, Kris leaned into her and the mic, found his way.
They tangled voices, words, emotions on a song about letting go of someone you loved so they can find something better. Triumph in the sadness, a light that shines from doing the right thing. They both sang from a place of intimacy, a knowing that few can share. Though they had never been lovers, they had been life companions since Rosanne was still a girl – and when he looked into her eyes, you could see the pride he felt for the woman she’d become.
“Dreaming is as easy as believing it was never gonna end…” the song extols. Looking at the legend, Rosanne almost melted with her heart on her sleeve. Kris was savoring all that was, looking at her in pure delight. It was perfect, so perfect Cash dropped out, and let Kris have that final “do again…,” collapsing into his arms in an embrace that spoke to how precious their connection remains.

Turning away from my editor at POLLSTAR, I could feel the tears on my skin. Here was a man who’d seen so much, who should be eternal and always. Here was a man who wrote about hangovers (“Sunday Morning Coming Down”), needing human congress to survive the ache of living (“Help Me Make It Through The Night”), who knew that even when it’s over there’s a place for one last time (“For The Good Times”) and who understood the life-saving grace of surrender (“Why Me Lord”).
He was robust, tender, willing to let go. He spoke to the ‘70s zeitgeist when he wrote, “Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose…” on “Me & Bobbie McGee.” There was no room for anything but being wholly present, leading with love and standing on the convictions of right and wrong.

For all that he was, he was a distiller of hearts. He offered generations of people seeking to understand a better way to express their longing, frustration and truth. He was fearless, joyous and willing – and as he wrote, “Don’t Let The Bastards Get You Down.”
I promise I won’t. But I can’t say that I won’t cry all night. I can’t say that I won’t stare into space on a plane to the West Coast tomorrow, wondering about losing another beacon of light to the stars above. Too many precious ones are leaving, and I imagine them all sitting around a poker table, laughing and raising the stakes: John Prine, whom he helped launch, and Steve Goodman, Cowboy Jack Clement, his dear Johnny Cash, Ray Price, Sammi Smith, Bobbie Nelson, Waylon, Donnie Fritts, known to all as “the leaning man from Alabam” and so many more rogues, characters and dreamers.

It was inevitable, of course. People age, people fade. But the ones who write such truth, they seem as if they’re immortal.
After suggesting that you were young enough to dream, and I was old enough to learn something new, Kristofferson summed up the seekers condition adroitly. With a demi-chorus, he explained,

“And come whatever happens now
Ain't it nice to know that dreams still come true
I'm so glad that I was close to you
For a moment of forever”

www.hollygleason.com